Dating..

So here I go. Dating... What the fuck does one woman has to do, to have a good date? The one who is not seeking for sex, but truly is seeking for some sort of connection.....   Let me tell you what she has to do.....

SHE HAS TO PUT OF WITH TONS OF SHIT!!!! And I  am not joking around now.

MY good friend X knows how I feel about sex. I love it, but  there is no reason for me to give it up for some stupid random one night affair. SO I am still a "virgin"... YES I AM!!! And I am proud of it...  hahahah What I mean by that is, since may, I have kept to myself.  What is the point going out there, meeting someone, counting  1 date, 2 date, 3 dates... and then guy knows,--- AAAAHHHH,  yeah, all girls have 3 date rules... After third date they hope to get laid,   and then run as fast as they can...   I have seen it couple of times. I have been out on few dates, and after third date, guy usually runs... or stops trying to impress me with his stupidity  and just walks away.--- WOrds like  Sweetheart, babygirl, gorgeous, blue eyes, princess , my Queen, Beautiful,  My only..... Disappear overnight.    

I don't understand why girls fall so quickly for it...  and then complain my boyfriend of 2 days left me after I gave in.... GIRLS, stay  longer than that... Build a friendship.  FIND OUT WHO HE REALLY IS. If you want a relationship,  you can weed out   10 pm booty call guys by staying true to what you really want... Of course, if it is only sex... go there and have as much as you want... GO FOR IT... good for you!!!!!!

But now back to topic...  Since June I have gone to dates  with 4  "men"....  First one I "swiped out", was actually  pretty impressive.  If was in my 20s, I would have totally melted...   Now i was like, lets wait it out... he will show his true colors soon, and soon enough, he sent me message to  pick him up from his new workplace to drive him home.... LET ME TELL---I ONLY saw him once at a coffee shop....    There is #lyft  that he could call for....   That tell me right away- most likely has 10 roommates and  only couple of square feet for himself.... Get your shit together ....  Good luck...


Date 2... He had everything going for him...  But what he said, just raised some attention  in my conscious mind..and  all I  could think of was --- MARRIED.....  He was to  careful.....   He asked me when can we meet again, and I said pretty much today.....  and he never followed up..  SO I know he is having fun with someone else... good for him...

Date 3... I don't know what to say about him..  I am just going to leave it blank.... I felt like I was raped on set .... there was no physical contact...  But it was one of the most uncomfortable dates I ever was on......  Removed and blocked the person after meeting him...

AND... there is date number 4.... Actually... he was 1st person I met  when I moved back to cali.. HE is calm, collected,  has vision, has passion, and has been respectful.  Well, the thing is... I am not stupid... If I say no, and we are not inclusive, there is always someone  who can say yes, after he leaves from date... RIght?  I am not bothered by that..  you do whatever you do before you find  what works for you....   But please, don't  call me stupid for not taking you for a test drive  when I am not ready.. :)  Smily face, smily face... hashtag  looking for my last love......  I met him and I am intriqued....


And there is one more person.... Date number 5 I have not met yet..... Conversations are great, but universe does not want us to meet. There is always something happening before  I get to meet up with him...  SOmetimes it is a great thing, but sometimes it is not that good.... God and my own intuition have never lied... SO maybe there is a reason.


So woman, girls, princesses, queens, ladies-- listen... Don't fall for that  BS you are fed on your first couple of dates of meeting someone.....  THINK hard  what works for you... Of course--- nice words work for all of us... BUT in beginning it is all words...  You want to see his actions.   He better show his actions..  He better, make you feel like  the QUEEN( not princess) with his actions...  He better,  give you flowers ( most men don't like giving flowers, because it is significant, it represents commitment ,  or it means something...  SO be careful with gifts and flowers early on...Accept them, but dont question... Just pay attenion....


 I really don't want to be downer Diana,  but I have been hurt, I hurt people, I have seen shit been there done that... ANd I am still "Virgin".... And  proud of it...  Love you , love your body, love everything about you, and  You will see the light.... Light- lights, brightness,  happiness.... You will be content in yor own skin, and nothing will shake you........ And you will be happier.. you will be free...

When hell breaks loose...

FIRST I would LOVE to mention, that today 3 months ago , I met the person  who completes me in a way nobody has ever been able to do...  It has been  interesting journey with ups and downs, but we are still here, still loving each other and still seeing- what future holds for us.  Love him to pieces. ANd cant wait to see him in few day. Month ago we said-- OMG month apart from each other, and now... it is like. WHERE THE FUCK DID THE TIME GO... 

HE is IT.  He is my Yangster. and I'm his Yingster

For years to come.

3 AMAZING MONTHS .... MORE TO COME

When It comes to love - I am having the best year ever, but  Universe is again testing me. And I am not loving it. Second time this year-  I get violently ill. First time , it was right shortly I quit smoking.. about 2 months and 2 weeks ago. I thought I was about to die.  But survived... WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN IN MY LIFE. never...... done 

And now... COuple of weeks ago started having pain on my back. did not know what.  It was just pain. Did not pain much attention to it. it travelled all the way to my mid back, near shoulder blades..   I was still fine. 

I handle pain well. physical, emotional.. name it.  its ok...

BUT.. then one morning I woke up with numb left arm.  

 I took a deep breath in.  and said. This too shall pass.  Im fine. Its just  whatever, pinched nerve.

 Next day, it got worse... I waited 4 days - before seeking help...   ANd  the moment I did get help, pain was 40% reduced.  THank you friends who  guided me right direction.  It was my first acupuncture  appointment today, and I am believer. 

My left hand is still numb, but pain is  reduced tons.

Have to keep up with this program for few days....  Well. at least 7. Because on  15th will fly to Guangzhou..

From there will fly to Who knows where....  Amazing ... Everything I have ever wished for is coming true... Sad thing is.. 

 I wished for a slim body few years ago... Universe still keeps telling me-- mhmhmh... its not your turn... So

It is challenge..

Have to change my diet  around completely, because I can't work our for a while, or I could possibly go blind,  loose hearing, and loose my memory.  

I did not listen to my body, and  this is what happened.

Listen to your body

It is all you need 

to live your life

.... 

D.T

But I did not do it all alone. I had few friends who came to my rescue when things got tough.  My Man KORY, LIN, REBECCA, ZIRA,   AIM,  CARMEN, NICK ,  MY SON GABRIEL.

I am grategul for this.
Our family, and extended family, and friends have gone through a lot because what our family has experienced... ANd I am grateful, they are still here to this day :)

Stay focused, and choose your battles well. ... 

 ALl  I can say is after all this- I  am still living the best life, I am alive.  

And I am living the life now with the person I  think was supposed to be in my life for years to come..

ANd He IS HERE :)

Embrace.

Every day is a gift

Every moment is counted.

xoxoxo

I am happy.

This blog, is really all about my feelings and thoughts and things I believe in. SO one day I might be little pissed, but the next day totally normal.  It is all part of figuring things out .   Past few days I got couple of emails from people telling me, that they are happy to see me back and blogging.  I had no idea people missed my  stories.  BUT, HEY YOU... I AM BACK FOR REAL.. Be ready for  some sad, happy, fun stories, and please contact me personally, if you have questions. Don't go behind my back spreading rumors that carry no weight. Ask before.

But anyway. I am Happiest I have been for years.  I am in love and I  Love same time. I am at peace and I am content.  I am in a relationship so strong, that it had me question every other relationship I have ever had before.  This relationship that started out with situationship, but turned into this amazing worldwide  Relationship. From usa to china, from china to USA, and soon from china to Nigeria. Love found me again.  I was not ready, I did not look for it, but I had put it out to Universe, that I need someone amazing, someone who mirrors  me, someone who likes same things as me and someone who sees me.  My life is wahala free and I am so so so happy, that he took a chance on Us.

 Lot of you have been concerned about my well being.  Well, please don't be.   When I first started telling people couple of years ago that I AM GOING TO NIGERIA ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I was  laughed at. I was told I will be raped, and  pimped out, and  most likely will disappear without a trace. And I was like. Oh bitches please. You don't know what you are saying. Do your research. You can  loose your kidneys here in China as well, You can get shot in usa , so. PLEASE,  don't feed me this shit. There is  terror everywhere in this world. You are not safe anywhere.  SO drop it..

But they did not. I kept hearing more and more how stupid I am to believe I will survive there( i don't know if I will, and its ok), but one thing I know. I am supposed to go there.  You know that feeling that you have in you...  That it will happen, you don't know how, but IT WILL... and then it happens...  and you don't know how you made it happen. It is amazing.

If I had not met Kory, i'd go there through other channels. I wanted to go and volunteer there. But he came along, and everything changed. Everything fell into place.   I told him couple of times that he Saved me. I really feel like it.  I am not easy to tame, and he managed it somehow.    Unbelievable  how one person can make you feel.   He is really the most amazing person in my life ( my son also, but it is all different)














His hand is mine to hold rest of my life...


Later today I will write another topic close to my heart, and please  don't turn away .. Read it, look at trailers, and SHARE .. PLEASE share that story...     Read it with open mind, and send that link to all your friends. I would not do it, if I did not trust the source.   That story will change your life.  And open up your minds even more....

Kory In CHina

When Kory was here in China, we had so much fun. I flew to Beijing to greet him there. I love Beijing It is afterall my first home in China. I love everything but air quality about it... I can handle beijing traffic. Its ok. Not the worst. Comparable to 405 or 5 traffic during rush hour.. But In Beijing it is all day long like that.  Anyway- we had so much fun. Great wall, forbidden city, Hutong tour,  Sanlitun bar street, few restaurants here and there,  of course Beking Duck,  Jade factory, Silk factory.. From there on we moved to Hangzhou, where I live.

We did not do much here. Just Chilled.   Seriously- his whole trip to china was chill- with few ups and downs.. Come on- we were together in china 24/7 for 2 weeks... and we did not kill each other. There were moments I could not breathe- I had to go out and take a breather.. but it was not because he was here. It happened because-- I was not sure what was happening. Were we in a relationship, was he using me, were we in a situationship, what the fuck were we doing.. It just got little overwhelming  at times, and I did not know how to handle it...  But one thing I knew, I had fallen him really hard.    I could see future with him, and I still see. .... So  those downs... They were in a way clarity moments.. THose were those dark corners everybody is talking about, those were moments, that made us stronger.

From Hangzhou we flew to Guangzhou for a while.  It was just to check out how things r in there- keeping business in mind....

From there on we got back to Hangzhou and enjoyed our time here.... I created slideshow with photos  on youtube... Seriously.. I am having the time of my life, and I dont want this ever stop....  He is my person...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0PvdGK5Q10

and another slideshow of his adventures here in China..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9fxftj7ns4



I am enjoying this adventure to the fullest... Only time will tell.....

Enjoy it all

Few months ago I told myself,  I'm fine on my own, I am fine without meaningless relationship, I am fine without love in my life.  And I was fine. After my divorce few years ago  I really thought I am done with everything, but you know life has different plans, and I fell once hard for someone. ANd I am glad I did.  After that I had few mediocre fun situationships that lead me to HIM.

He entered my life when I did not want anything like him.  I had already made plans for life, I had accepted that I will do my thing till the day I die. had plans to move back to California, get few cats, maybe Pitbull... etc..  I was not looking for a boyfriend, or someone to fall in love with. Along the line I realized guys are drama, and I wanted to stay away from it all... But then miracle happened...

 Sometimes in December I signed up to  Tinder... Just because, I knew I will travel to USA and  I was on a mission to find few dates here and there, to see what is available, because  I planned to move back to Cali in october.. and I wanted to see if there are guys available at all.

Well,  funny thing is.. I told myself, I really want to have nice WHite boy for a moment. Because In china i only dated Africans( not african americans).. And I was kind of tired of the game, and talk. But same time, I was not even sure what I wanted...


SO TINDER.... oh.. I had about 40 matches within 4 days..  But I only kind of chatted with 4 guys. Rest of them were not even what I was interested.. Was just playing the field to see, what hooks...
Lined up 3 dates... They were not horrible. They were just what I did not need.    First guy I only chatted for 10 minutes, then stood up and said sorry, Can't - we want different things....
Second guy, was leading all wrong way... FUll of shit...  I know game when I see game....

Third guy... He was actually acceptable... and something I could handle, but  I realized,  he  too only wanted something else, and was just saying all sorts of things to lead to one thing...   whatever....


ANd then... One night...  after I picked up my Best friend from LAX, we were both swiping again. After my last date, I told myself - I am so done with it...  I keep attracting what I dont need, and it is getting little annoying to be honest...    SO there I was  and I took my last swipe... and there was match...

I was like... really?  like why? I am leaving USA in 3 days to China, and i got a match and we gonna have coffee in morning... And at that point I did not know  He had Aafrican roots..  I just knew he was charming,  the way he communicated ,was smart and I was  intrigued....

So in morning I woke up, sent him message, asking him.. he is still up for us meeting, because I had a feeling, he had changed his mind....  

I literally felt it. I felt like he was in between .. But thankfully, i messaged him, and it made him actually show up...

We were  supposed  to Meet at Starbucks....  BUT my navigation did not take me there. It gave me different address. And so I called him and said, sorry.. it is not working out fine .  I don't know this area, but I am in front of coffee bean.. and can we meet here..    And we did....

ANd the way we met was interesting....  I was on one end of store and he was at the other, and he called me , where I am at, and  I answered...   He was in one end of store, and I was in the other, and the moment I answered the phone .. We both kind of stepped out behind the corner and saw each other... ANd something in me went YUP.... HE IS IT.........

I can't explain it... I just new... I NEW...  Maybe he did tooo... BUT  something in me cracked...  and it had not happened since 2013.    AND he was not even something I wanted in my life.  TOTALLY opposite what I was asking from God.  But I guess GOd new what works for me, and He was right... It has been perfect mix of everything.


We have our challenges..But such is life...   There is no rainbow without rain....  To Be continued.....

Missing the one....