Dating..

So here I go. Dating... What the fuck does one woman has to do, to have a good date? The one who is not seeking for sex, but truly is seeking for some sort of connection.....   Let me tell you what she has to do.....

SHE HAS TO PUT OF WITH TONS OF SHIT!!!! And I  am not joking around now.

MY good friend X knows how I feel about sex. I love it, but  there is no reason for me to give it up for some stupid random one night affair. SO I am still a "virgin"... YES I AM!!! And I am proud of it...  hahahah What I mean by that is, since may, I have kept to myself.  What is the point going out there, meeting someone, counting  1 date, 2 date, 3 dates... and then guy knows,--- AAAAHHHH,  yeah, all girls have 3 date rules... After third date they hope to get laid,   and then run as fast as they can...   I have seen it couple of times. I have been out on few dates, and after third date, guy usually runs... or stops trying to impress me with his stupidity  and just walks away.--- WOrds like  Sweetheart, babygirl, gorgeous, blue eyes, princess , my Queen, Beautiful,  My only..... Disappear overnight.    

I don't understand why girls fall so quickly for it...  and then complain my boyfriend of 2 days left me after I gave in.... GIRLS, stay  longer than that... Build a friendship.  FIND OUT WHO HE REALLY IS. If you want a relationship,  you can weed out   10 pm booty call guys by staying true to what you really want... Of course, if it is only sex... go there and have as much as you want... GO FOR IT... good for you!!!!!!

But now back to topic...  Since June I have gone to dates  with 4  "men"....  First one I "swiped out", was actually  pretty impressive.  If was in my 20s, I would have totally melted...   Now i was like, lets wait it out... he will show his true colors soon, and soon enough, he sent me message to  pick him up from his new workplace to drive him home.... LET ME TELL---I ONLY saw him once at a coffee shop....    There is #lyft  that he could call for....   That tell me right away- most likely has 10 roommates and  only couple of square feet for himself.... Get your shit together ....  Good luck...


Date 2... He had everything going for him...  But what he said, just raised some attention  in my conscious mind..and  all I  could think of was --- MARRIED.....  He was to  careful.....   He asked me when can we meet again, and I said pretty much today.....  and he never followed up..  SO I know he is having fun with someone else... good for him...

Date 3... I don't know what to say about him..  I am just going to leave it blank.... I felt like I was raped on set .... there was no physical contact...  But it was one of the most uncomfortable dates I ever was on......  Removed and blocked the person after meeting him...

AND... there is date number 4.... Actually... he was 1st person I met  when I moved back to cali.. HE is calm, collected,  has vision, has passion, and has been respectful.  Well, the thing is... I am not stupid... If I say no, and we are not inclusive, there is always someone  who can say yes, after he leaves from date... RIght?  I am not bothered by that..  you do whatever you do before you find  what works for you....   But please, don't  call me stupid for not taking you for a test drive  when I am not ready.. :)  Smily face, smily face... hashtag  looking for my last love......  I met him and I am intriqued....


And there is one more person.... Date number 5 I have not met yet..... Conversations are great, but universe does not want us to meet. There is always something happening before  I get to meet up with him...  SOmetimes it is a great thing, but sometimes it is not that good.... God and my own intuition have never lied... SO maybe there is a reason.


So woman, girls, princesses, queens, ladies-- listen... Don't fall for that  BS you are fed on your first couple of dates of meeting someone.....  THINK hard  what works for you... Of course--- nice words work for all of us... BUT in beginning it is all words...  You want to see his actions.   He better show his actions..  He better, make you feel like  the QUEEN( not princess) with his actions...  He better,  give you flowers ( most men don't like giving flowers, because it is significant, it represents commitment ,  or it means something...  SO be careful with gifts and flowers early on...Accept them, but dont question... Just pay attenion....


 I really don't want to be downer Diana,  but I have been hurt, I hurt people, I have seen shit been there done that... ANd I am still "Virgin".... And  proud of it...  Love you , love your body, love everything about you, and  You will see the light.... Light- lights, brightness,  happiness.... You will be content in yor own skin, and nothing will shake you........ And you will be happier.. you will be free...

I miss China, I miss usa, I miss Estonia... I miss freedom to do what I wanna do..when I wanna do.. But I am content.

 I can not address enough how amazing Nigeria , Lagos and its surrounding areas actually are. It is different kind of beauty, and not everybody will survive here. It takes a strong person to adjust in here, and I have adjusted.. I would not mind living here for long term. I tell you honestly, I have no fear.  I feel like, I have been here for a long time, and I still don't have enough experiences to actually tell you I HAVE BEEN TO NIGERIA.   I feel flat at times, because, I know there are adventures awaiting for me, but  because my amazing boyfriend, I am taking a huge step back and listen to him.  I don't want to put my life in harms way in any damn way, so I decide to stay indoors, or walk to work, or drive around with our driver. 

I am not complaining, but adventurer in me- is not satisfied... 

BUT on a great note.. We have made amazing friends here.  We have experienced Nigeria the way we did not expect. We went to parties we  just went WOW, but it is overdone... 

 I miss good western food.. I tell you honestly..People in CHINA should be happy.... Western restaurants there are amazing compared to Lagos area...  I aint lying..  

Also, every time we go out K gets little stressed..  And I understand why.  People get kidnapped, car jacked, robbed,  whatever all the time. ANd we have been lucky...  And I hope we will stay lucky for days to come. 

 AND NOW.... 10 more days here... 10 more days and I will be Back in mhm.. and he will be back in mhmh...

 I already miss him... I already feel like  I want to cut my trip to mhm short,and fly to where he is... 

But one thing I know.. I will be back in Nigeria...   YOu have to come here to see this country. eat food, attend parties, see how poor live how rich live and make up your own mind about WHY PEOPLE HERE ARE THE WAY THEY ARE....

 If I was Nigerian...  

i'd do what they do..

Life ain't easy here...  Everybody tries to hustle...  THose who have get more, and those who don't loose what they have... SO never stop trying and dreaming...

Keep pushing... 

Naija adventures...

Sorry, I have not been active, but everything has been crazy over here... Work, maintaining relationship,  electricity issues, keeping myself safe, quality time... Kory still calls it vacation, but there is nothing about vacation past couple of months.. It has been constant work.. He has to snap out of it, and call it what it is.

I tell you honestly... End of the day.. I just want to fly to USA, and shower there, and then fly back...    But I am who I am, I am used to less, and there is nothing to complain about. In the end of the day, we got few hours of electricity, gas stow with tank,  little bit of running water, clothes to wear and roof over our head..   I can handle it well.. no wahala.....

GREETINGS FROM LAGOS, NIGERIA

I  have been in Nigeria in about 12 days. This experience is incredible.  My man keeps asking me , if I want to go back to la, and I'm like, no way. NO WAY, I want to leave right now. i don't have enough stories to tell. Something tells me, I have to stay here for a long time, ... 

I feel like I am at home. it is hard to describe why, or how, but one thing I know,  I feel the best I have ever felt.  I have no longing for something else, And I am not in a hurry anymore..

my mind is at peace and my heart is happy..

xoxox

When hell breaks loose...

FIRST I would LOVE to mention, that today 3 months ago , I met the person  who completes me in a way nobody has ever been able to do...  It has been  interesting journey with ups and downs, but we are still here, still loving each other and still seeing- what future holds for us.  Love him to pieces. ANd cant wait to see him in few day. Month ago we said-- OMG month apart from each other, and now... it is like. WHERE THE FUCK DID THE TIME GO... 

HE is IT.  He is my Yangster. and I'm his Yingster

For years to come.

3 AMAZING MONTHS .... MORE TO COME

When It comes to love - I am having the best year ever, but  Universe is again testing me. And I am not loving it. Second time this year-  I get violently ill. First time , it was right shortly I quit smoking.. about 2 months and 2 weeks ago. I thought I was about to die.  But survived... WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN IN MY LIFE. never...... done 

And now... COuple of weeks ago started having pain on my back. did not know what.  It was just pain. Did not pain much attention to it. it travelled all the way to my mid back, near shoulder blades..   I was still fine. 

I handle pain well. physical, emotional.. name it.  its ok...

BUT.. then one morning I woke up with numb left arm.  

 I took a deep breath in.  and said. This too shall pass.  Im fine. Its just  whatever, pinched nerve.

 Next day, it got worse... I waited 4 days - before seeking help...   ANd  the moment I did get help, pain was 40% reduced.  THank you friends who  guided me right direction.  It was my first acupuncture  appointment today, and I am believer. 

My left hand is still numb, but pain is  reduced tons.

Have to keep up with this program for few days....  Well. at least 7. Because on  15th will fly to Guangzhou..

From there will fly to Who knows where....  Amazing ... Everything I have ever wished for is coming true... Sad thing is.. 

 I wished for a slim body few years ago... Universe still keeps telling me-- mhmhmh... its not your turn... So

It is challenge..

Have to change my diet  around completely, because I can't work our for a while, or I could possibly go blind,  loose hearing, and loose my memory.  

I did not listen to my body, and  this is what happened.

Listen to your body

It is all you need 

to live your life

.... 

D.T

But I did not do it all alone. I had few friends who came to my rescue when things got tough.  My Man KORY, LIN, REBECCA, ZIRA,   AIM,  CARMEN, NICK ,  MY SON GABRIEL.

I am grategul for this.
Our family, and extended family, and friends have gone through a lot because what our family has experienced... ANd I am grateful, they are still here to this day :)

Stay focused, and choose your battles well. ... 

 ALl  I can say is after all this- I  am still living the best life, I am alive.  

And I am living the life now with the person I  think was supposed to be in my life for years to come..

ANd He IS HERE :)

Embrace.

Every day is a gift

Every moment is counted.

xoxoxo

Kory In CHina

When Kory was here in China, we had so much fun. I flew to Beijing to greet him there. I love Beijing It is afterall my first home in China. I love everything but air quality about it... I can handle beijing traffic. Its ok. Not the worst. Comparable to 405 or 5 traffic during rush hour.. But In Beijing it is all day long like that.  Anyway- we had so much fun. Great wall, forbidden city, Hutong tour,  Sanlitun bar street, few restaurants here and there,  of course Beking Duck,  Jade factory, Silk factory.. From there on we moved to Hangzhou, where I live.

We did not do much here. Just Chilled.   Seriously- his whole trip to china was chill- with few ups and downs.. Come on- we were together in china 24/7 for 2 weeks... and we did not kill each other. There were moments I could not breathe- I had to go out and take a breather.. but it was not because he was here. It happened because-- I was not sure what was happening. Were we in a relationship, was he using me, were we in a situationship, what the fuck were we doing.. It just got little overwhelming  at times, and I did not know how to handle it...  But one thing I knew, I had fallen him really hard.    I could see future with him, and I still see. .... So  those downs... They were in a way clarity moments.. THose were those dark corners everybody is talking about, those were moments, that made us stronger.

From Hangzhou we flew to Guangzhou for a while.  It was just to check out how things r in there- keeping business in mind....

From there on we got back to Hangzhou and enjoyed our time here.... I created slideshow with photos  on youtube... Seriously.. I am having the time of my life, and I dont want this ever stop....  He is my person...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0PvdGK5Q10

and another slideshow of his adventures here in China..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9fxftj7ns4



I am enjoying this adventure to the fullest... Only time will tell.....

Worried Sick...

I'm worried sick.. K is in Naija,,, and SICk as fuck.. So , Im over in Hangzhou.. Helpless, can't do much but hope this shall to pass....
 Sending all my love to his way.......... xo

Wize wordz

Dont settle for less....

What i mean is.... Every day we get hit by tons of meaningless words... And it is our job to make sense of them.  Every time In my life i have dated someone- I have heard from them _ I LOVE YOU words...  I have responded to there words only about 2-4 times.. and really meaning them... why I say  2-4 is because ... I was not sure  i felt what I said.... But since i was 16 years old I have heard I LOVE you more than 20 times...   COuld be even more than 30.. I don't know...    Words mean nothing to me.. actions do.. and if I love I LOVE HARD... I fall hard and recovery will be hard also... BUT I D O   NOT  use words to lead in a wrong way...  

All I know is.. I have loved, and I have lived ... and I have settled.. ANd Iam so ready to settle again with somone .. SOmone who will compliment my life... somone who will be my bestie for rest of my life.....  I have and idea who.. and i hope its him..But I am trusting timing . If it happens it  happens... If not.   it was not meant to be...

There  are no losses or wins in this adventure.. All we have is this MOMENT.... I don't know what will happen in 5 minutes...    Enjoy the moment ... Enjoy your journey.   just live just breathe  just BE....


I know now -- I LOVE someone... And i hope i will not be disappointed by his actions....