Step one..

 April 14th..  This day will be important date  for years to come.  I did not realize what significance it holds..  First of all numbers 1 and 4are my combo numbers 11.11 and 1.44  or 11.44 or times I always wake up or check my time.. and today is 14th,  4/14  all the numbers lined up... stupid I know..
But tonight Is my last official date  to live in Hangzhou.  from 4/15  forward, i will be no longer at home in hangzhou.. My home will be wherever his home is....

Its tricky.. I know.  But it is best feeling ever. and knowing someone has your back... is  priceless...

 I am happiest i have been for years, and this time, it is different.  It is about feeling. It is about we care for one another, it is about respect, and honesty, and trust. It is all and more I have ever asked for. I am complete ... and it is all that I care about :D

So tomorrow... will fly out of here... and stay tuned for new stories...whenever will get a chance..

Love is all we have..

So im all prepped ..

 Today went to  Zhejiang international travel health care center.   Only place pretty much where you can get everything ready for your international travels- medicine vice...

Since my health has been weird lately, I asked them what would be best MAX for me to get  for my Naija( Nigeria) Trip.  Meaning what meds, vaccinations.    Information window receptionist looked at me and responded  in perfect english, " you are going to Nigeria? When? For how long?",   I said maybe 2 months , maybe forever?   She lit up right away and said ok.  this is what I recommend for you.

 Cholera,
Yellow fever
Meningitus
Mosquito prevention
 and malaria cure-- only because we in china dont have prevention pills, we only have pills treat malaria, so if you think you have malaria, take these.... and I was like.. uh oh... awesome... fine... let me get sick,,  and take these.. no worries...

So, right now , I am relaying , that my boyfriend will remember to bring me back some malaria prevention pills from USA :) I know he will.. he luvs me :D and does not want me to get sick in there...

 But whole process was easy.. I went there9 am--- early to get shit started, but had to come back 1. 30 to  actually get all vaccinations and meds.   IT was not expensive.. 3 vaccinations-- one oral and two to my arm, and then mosquito, and then  malaria prevention.. Total was 53 usd.   With registration fees and everything...

And it was so cool.   70% people who were there were business man, who also travelled to Africa... it was room about 40 people. .. So imagine every day this crowd.. Soon  there( meaning in Africa - will be biggest china town in Nigeria, or Mozambique, or Ghana or wherever :)      I can imagine that happening.

But anway,.. I got it covered. I am so ready. I am so ready to  head where I belong..Home is calling my name... Prep work has been done since birth...  Watch me survive.

I know you guys think I'm mentally unstable.. That is your reality, not mine.   If you feel something in your heart, in your mind- and it get stronger over the years,,, it will attract same   energy from somewhere else...  For me...   Everything has fallen into place, puzzle is completed, and  my life is on fleek...  so don't question me. Question yourselves , why do you have thoughts in your mind to  tell me what i whould do?  Have you ever been in this situation.... NO... SO ...   just smile and wish me -- stay safe....  and end of conversation.. IF YOU been there, lived there, live there.. I welcome your advice 24/7  because I know what you all are talking about... :D  ...


.......

Living my dream,  and there is more to come. I can see so much potential what is about to happen.  And- My MAN.. omg.. He is the best- Supporting me all over..  Every step of the way.   He really  does bring out the best in me, and wanting me to be IT....  Never had it before, and I know I will never find it again.. SO keep it, if you think you have found what compliments you.....

 ANyways... 5 more days before our Reunion.. It has been over a month we last saw each other.... . Never again will allow this kind of  space happen between us.  Have to make it work...   Long distance-- is testing everything about us.. can we stay faithful, loyal, friends, soulmates, keep connection going,  timing,  passion,  etc.....  everything... It is not only one thing... It is combo of our personalities pick of pest traits of both us, and concentrate on those....  it's tricky...

 Nobody is perfect but I know he is perfect for me. ... He is my Yangsta Ganagsta A Kory..
Forever mine, forever in love...

xo

Nigeria...

Hey friends and strangers..

Few of you have expressed concern about me going to Nigeria. Yes, it is scary place if you look at media and read news. But so is USA- People wear guns  and can kill you any time of the day... Out of a blue, same in china.. Some crazy guy with a knife can just step out of nowhere and stab me in my chest... and Then Estonia.. Well, I can get mugged, raped,   whatever  when lights go down.. Danger is everywhere.  You just have to know how to stay away from it. SO please don't worry..
I am going to post you some links to watch. And hope it calms your mind.

As I see it-- I am going home.   And Nothing will stop me. It will not be beautiful. As I told to my boyfriend.. There will be good bad and ugly waiting for me there. I will smile, I will laugh, I will cry, I will be depressed, I will be confused, and I will cry my eyes out.. But  I will be happy,  because I am supposed to be there. I will be fine.  Because I have the best person next to me ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbsdLI8kaWc

It will be crazy. But I know it will be the experience It is meant for US. Meaning my other half and I.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fab3wvXSJSU

and then there is this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjdQxt45Ei4



And this..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceFQLvNFl1A


THere is so much info online about it.  And it will be mix of it all.  I know how mind works. When I go somewhere, I try to see beauty in everything. But I know it will be little challenging. GOod challenging. It will make me stronger and better person for sure.  Expand my mind  to full force....


Please don't worry about me. :) I will be great..  I know it..

I feel those vibrations.  I will go there with open mind and I will be welcome there.

I will not be here, but  near by :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpiv-pEEnEM

 So  friends... CHill...  I got this handled.....


.....
SO OMG...  I am on my way there...

..

On a different note...  My back...  yeah...yesterday had massage, today had another bout of Acupuncture and cupping...and it does not look pretty.  But it works...  today was painful... More needles, and more cups...  But wowza... LOVING every moment of this. :) Also Im back to redhead...  Blond is not me...  Ugh.. Just not my fire and personality.... Red... on the other hand... I got it covered...
xoxo

Love you guys....

When hell breaks loose...

FIRST I would LOVE to mention, that today 3 months ago , I met the person  who completes me in a way nobody has ever been able to do...  It has been  interesting journey with ups and downs, but we are still here, still loving each other and still seeing- what future holds for us.  Love him to pieces. ANd cant wait to see him in few day. Month ago we said-- OMG month apart from each other, and now... it is like. WHERE THE FUCK DID THE TIME GO... 

HE is IT.  He is my Yangster. and I'm his Yingster

For years to come.

3 AMAZING MONTHS .... MORE TO COME

When It comes to love - I am having the best year ever, but  Universe is again testing me. And I am not loving it. Second time this year-  I get violently ill. First time , it was right shortly I quit smoking.. about 2 months and 2 weeks ago. I thought I was about to die.  But survived... WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN IN MY LIFE. never...... done 

And now... COuple of weeks ago started having pain on my back. did not know what.  It was just pain. Did not pain much attention to it. it travelled all the way to my mid back, near shoulder blades..   I was still fine. 

I handle pain well. physical, emotional.. name it.  its ok...

BUT.. then one morning I woke up with numb left arm.  

 I took a deep breath in.  and said. This too shall pass.  Im fine. Its just  whatever, pinched nerve.

 Next day, it got worse... I waited 4 days - before seeking help...   ANd  the moment I did get help, pain was 40% reduced.  THank you friends who  guided me right direction.  It was my first acupuncture  appointment today, and I am believer. 

My left hand is still numb, but pain is  reduced tons.

Have to keep up with this program for few days....  Well. at least 7. Because on  15th will fly to Guangzhou..

From there will fly to Who knows where....  Amazing ... Everything I have ever wished for is coming true... Sad thing is.. 

 I wished for a slim body few years ago... Universe still keeps telling me-- mhmhmh... its not your turn... So

It is challenge..

Have to change my diet  around completely, because I can't work our for a while, or I could possibly go blind,  loose hearing, and loose my memory.  

I did not listen to my body, and  this is what happened.

Listen to your body

It is all you need 

to live your life

.... 

D.T

But I did not do it all alone. I had few friends who came to my rescue when things got tough.  My Man KORY, LIN, REBECCA, ZIRA,   AIM,  CARMEN, NICK ,  MY SON GABRIEL.

I am grategul for this.
Our family, and extended family, and friends have gone through a lot because what our family has experienced... ANd I am grateful, they are still here to this day :)

Stay focused, and choose your battles well. ... 

 ALl  I can say is after all this- I  am still living the best life, I am alive.  

And I am living the life now with the person I  think was supposed to be in my life for years to come..

ANd He IS HERE :)

Embrace.

Every day is a gift

Every moment is counted.

xoxoxo

Part 2.. Child Brides Africa/Aafrika/ Get your mind on this subject.

Please... Check it out, and donate...  It is important cause.
https://fundanything.com/en/campaigns/girl-child-africa/donations

THis kind of topics should NOT even be up to debate.  And any grown ass person should protect the rights to their kids and to those , who have no voice. Lets make sure our kids can have an education, and choice to change this world.   Boy or Girl...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjyxHd7krAw


Since I first posted about this topic, I got couple of interesting Emails.  One of them stated, that I should not get involved in this, because It is fake. They are just making up stories to get money. and using me as midway section......
 Second email I got was,  I don't know what I am doing, and  should stick to my people, and keep white hoes taking our man.   Meaning, I should  leave my boyfriend . Fact is... They both missed the point.   You can't make a change if you are ignorant.  IF living in your bubble makes you safe, stay there,  but please keep your unsolicited advice away from me.   But  I realized, let them talk, it means i got under someones skin.. Due to wrong reasons of course, but   seems like, if they drafted message to me, it means,  they heard something. So instead of bitching, start doing something.. One step at a time... Go online, research this topic. It is heartbreaking.  It does not only happen in Nigeria. It is everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.

Please keep your heart open.

Look at videos, look at faces. Listen to theses stories. Get out of your bubble and your comfort zone, and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O91o35G947I



Please look and listen and share...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekYnh8080v4

I keep stressing on topic.. I am mother. .NO SON OR DAUGHTER should be forced into this.. Legal pedophilia ... As it worst.. Stop this. Please..


PLEASE, I am asking  you PLEASE check it it out...   You might not like what you see, but it is reality what is happening...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvQjBjqmNLM&nohtml5=False


 Get involved.  don't be quiet.   Be pro active.....

I really want you to invest some time and see, if you have not..

Best feelings..

About a week ago I found out that my former neighbors From laguna niguel are coming to a short china tour.  Right away I knew, I have to fly to Beijing to meet them.   I have tons of people I know flying to China all the time, but I don't take time or invest my energy into meeting them. This time it was little Different.

Our Girls Went to same class together, they were both little different from others, and they were full of life. It was really, like nothing could take us down, that is how our girls lived our lives. They had their arguments,  fights, but always ended up having the best time ever. What makes it unique is. Nobody would ever Say NO to Regina- because  you simply just don't say NO to Cancer kid, and  C was also little special, so no one would ever say NO to her.. BUT when both of them got together, sometimes little hell broke loose. They were both special, and  NO's started flying from both of their mouths.. And they could not understand WHY IS THIS PERSON say no to me, no one ever dares .. haha :) IT was cute, and funny and adorable at same time.......

Their family used to pray for us all the time. When things got especially rough and we were given pretty much no HOPE  whatsoever, they came to our house,  and we all prayed.      I think in the end of the days- we just prayed that My daughter was pain free.  And that Her friend was pain free.  Because after all- you want one live life to the fullest, and not suffer in the end.


 So when I saw them.  I was  overjoyed.   And when I told the reason, why I Came to Beijing to see them,  I just teared up, because, the feelings came from deep within me.   Over the years , I have made an effort to meet them, and have a dinner here and there, but this year, I was little busy with my MAN, and priorities first.....
 But anyways,   Anybody, who has ever done something nice to me  - I keep them close to my heart. I might not be able to chat with them, or be bestie.. It is different.. We are different kind of friends in different kind of level. And I  love it. We have the connection- and can carry on conversation whenever we catch up. There is something similar about our energies, even though we are completely different people ..But maybe we are not.. Maybe we are all the same- and the religion is the division factor...   I don't know. I don't have answer to that. But as long as we all get along- world will be better place.

 I am so happy, that I got to see their friendly faces, and so glad, they will be experiencing Asia as tourist. All they will be taking with them are the bestestest memories ever....

Till next time...

Sometimes its ok to cry. This is real talk..

Today something weird happened to me. I can't explain it.  I woke up   and I did not have the best feeling about my day. So, I decided to stay in, and luckily weather co operated with me  because pollution was  just the worst.   I stayed in, did some reading, and put on music and worked out for few songs, made my breakfast lunch. And then worked out little more..  Well, I have to push harder. After I quit smoking, I became little fatty, and at my age, weight is not melting off that quick. Looks, like Im gaining while trying to loose weight, and Im not even eating sugars, low carb content,   not even going parties these days. I am completely happy in my own little world... As I finished with my work out  around 4pm. I suddenly felt this huge cloud over my head, and I felt like I could not breathe.  I took little breaths, I laid down, kept breathing in and out  but nothing worked.  And then all of a sudden I started crying out of nowhere, and nothing could stop my tears. Nothing. I was just laying on floor  staring my ceiling and crying..   I felt like walls were closing in . It was most terrifing feeling ever.  I was unable to move. I could  not calm myself down...  I tried to go to my safe thoughts ,   it got even worse.  and then I knew I was having panic attack. 

 And  thoughts slowly started coming to me one after another one.   First one was.. Yesterday I woke up  with numb left hand fingers.. First I thought I was having heart attack, but  soon I realized  I injured my back at gym day before and most likely it was pinched nerve.. My hand was so numb , I could not hold a tooth brush. That how numb my fingers were, but as day progressed , it got better and better...

 And then  I finally allowed my feelings talk to me.  I had damn deep conversations with myself. So deep, I went like - DAMN DIANA, you fucked up.  Get a grip of yourself. You r taurus...  STRRRONG and stubborn, and nothing will ever happen to you.  Do your thing.. Don't panic, you have control over everything.. And at that moment I told myself those words-- I AM IN CONTROL, i started calming down.  And I was on my way back to light me.  We all have breaking points , and I had one of them today on my own. 

 What I did not realize at a moment was why-- I am living the best life ever, Next to me is the Man  I have ever wished for, and we found each other.  I have amazing son who is doing great in school, and  supportive ex husband.  My friends are here for me whenever I need them,  and I do my best to be there for them. And GIving up some bad habits I attracted something amazing to my life... I attracted LOVE I have never ever experienced before.   At my age. haha. At my age..  WHo knew I was able to love without restrictions , without judgment.    I am sure what  made me panic was.. WHAT IF I FUCK IT UP AGAIN.... Because I felt like every relationship I ever had.. It was me. who did everything to make something crack...

And I thought to myself, am I enough?  and if I am not, will I be ok...   

Anyway... overthinking kicked in.

 Was not good.  It was the worst thought  one can have. You are always enough. ALWAYS.

And everything will be perfect. To the T. I am strrrong and I an handle anything to the core.  

Love makes us vulnerable.  And I am mushy because I allow myself to feel all these feelings. I allow myself to be in love and love.  I love it. It is struggle, but I am perfecting it.  We flow, we the Ying and Yangzta,  Can't imagine my life without him. Strong words.. And it scary even for a second to think-- he will be gone...

 I don't have any baggage from my past. My son Is my jewel, My ex husband is in happy relationship and expects baby number 2.  I have no drama in my life.  Everything is peaceful. The moment I met K, I cleared everything away.. I have my friends, but most times I even have no desire to chat with them. Just one in Estonia, one in Columbia, one in CHina and  couple of them in Amazing California. 

 Anyways..  I almost thought I gonna die today. Panic attack was insane.. I just felt something in me  I have not felt in years...  FOR years...   My last panic attack literally was years ago, after my ex announced he wants divorce... That was my last panic attac... ANd now I had it for totally different reasons... 

 Interesting.  I should not be worried at all... We got this.   And future looks bright... 

Just breathe Diana... And don't overthink..  Put it out there to universe, what you need, and it comes to you... Keep thriving.. Keep living, Keep dreaming.. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF.. And you will never have to doubt  anything in your life...

Im fine now... 

xoxoxo

ALSO.. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE share and donate if you can. This topic is close to my heart.. Change will not come now.. But with right funding, mountains can be moved....

Just love...

https://fundanything.com/en/campaigns/girl-child-africa/donations

Girl Child Africa.

I want you to do something for me. Something  I have heard lot over the years and it just made me cringe , because I was to once mother of a daughter.   And could not imagine this happening to my babies.  I want you to trust me on this, and please don't run away the moment you hear word Nigeria. Not everybody is thieves, not everybody is out there to get your  ass... Not everybody is killer , or hater.   Think about your country, and how foundations work there.  Think about how much money goes to pockets of finding fathers there...  So  trust me when I tell you, money you are about to donate will change the lives of many girls in Nigeria and maybe in Africa in general.  Think about better life quality, think about how well your kids are doing in school, think about how child  molesters  can be tracked, so our kids are safe.    Just think about for a moment if you did not have it .    How would you protect your  daughters/sons ?  There is time for change in this fucked up world.   It might not happen today, but  one step at a time. So just be open minded, and compassionate.

Please  look at these links I am posting now, and share them with everybody. Look at videos, do some research.    Lets help them all together.

https://fundanything.com/en/campaigns/girl-child-africa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6tjdHk4crI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIhDO58JcQw



I really would not share this with you all if I did not believe help is needed.   Think about it this way...  one bottle of good wine costs 20 to whatever amount of dollars...  Skip one bottle tonight or tomorrow...  and  give that amount to this campaign.   You have no idea how much that would help.   You are going to make a change in someones life.  :)    Spread love, care, be compassionate.  If you have any questions please message me or comment this blog...

BUT please do me one huge favor. If you can't help, share this post with anybody you can.

Lets give these girls Their VOICE....


I love you guys....
PS.. Im heading to Nigeria/Naija soon...    You will get updates one day from the source.....

I am happy.

This blog, is really all about my feelings and thoughts and things I believe in. SO one day I might be little pissed, but the next day totally normal.  It is all part of figuring things out .   Past few days I got couple of emails from people telling me, that they are happy to see me back and blogging.  I had no idea people missed my  stories.  BUT, HEY YOU... I AM BACK FOR REAL.. Be ready for  some sad, happy, fun stories, and please contact me personally, if you have questions. Don't go behind my back spreading rumors that carry no weight. Ask before.

But anyway. I am Happiest I have been for years.  I am in love and I  Love same time. I am at peace and I am content.  I am in a relationship so strong, that it had me question every other relationship I have ever had before.  This relationship that started out with situationship, but turned into this amazing worldwide  Relationship. From usa to china, from china to USA, and soon from china to Nigeria. Love found me again.  I was not ready, I did not look for it, but I had put it out to Universe, that I need someone amazing, someone who mirrors  me, someone who likes same things as me and someone who sees me.  My life is wahala free and I am so so so happy, that he took a chance on Us.

 Lot of you have been concerned about my well being.  Well, please don't be.   When I first started telling people couple of years ago that I AM GOING TO NIGERIA ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I was  laughed at. I was told I will be raped, and  pimped out, and  most likely will disappear without a trace. And I was like. Oh bitches please. You don't know what you are saying. Do your research. You can  loose your kidneys here in China as well, You can get shot in usa , so. PLEASE,  don't feed me this shit. There is  terror everywhere in this world. You are not safe anywhere.  SO drop it..

But they did not. I kept hearing more and more how stupid I am to believe I will survive there( i don't know if I will, and its ok), but one thing I know. I am supposed to go there.  You know that feeling that you have in you...  That it will happen, you don't know how, but IT WILL... and then it happens...  and you don't know how you made it happen. It is amazing.

If I had not met Kory, i'd go there through other channels. I wanted to go and volunteer there. But he came along, and everything changed. Everything fell into place.   I told him couple of times that he Saved me. I really feel like it.  I am not easy to tame, and he managed it somehow.    Unbelievable  how one person can make you feel.   He is really the most amazing person in my life ( my son also, but it is all different)














His hand is mine to hold rest of my life...


Later today I will write another topic close to my heart, and please  don't turn away .. Read it, look at trailers, and SHARE .. PLEASE share that story...     Read it with open mind, and send that link to all your friends. I would not do it, if I did not trust the source.   That story will change your life.  And open up your minds even more....