Hi... How are you?

 Once in a blue moon, when someone asks this questions my eyes light up...

TOday for instance,  I went to  Trader Joes, and It is my favorite grocery store to shop at for my  grocery needs.  I bought a bottle of pinot, low sodium turkey, hummus and case of water... Before that of course cashier would ask me- "HOW ARE YOU, YOU look  great, love your hair"....  And that just made my day.    I did have amazing day today, managed to have great workout at gym, and run tons of errands and then did sunset hike.. SO when she asked 9.30 pm about my day,  I just started glowing...  And I told her...  it was amazing day and I am about to head home have some wine , eat turkey and listen to tons of music... And she started laughing and said... She will skip the turkey, but can't wait to be reunited with wine and  dinner....   And that is why I love Trader Joes...  Every time I go there - even to buy a bag of chips, some worker has something to say about it, or suggest perfect snack combo to go with it.. and they are always on point...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE TRADER JOES!!!!! I think maybe that is one of the reasons I wanted to move back to USA from China....


 But how am i really ... In reality, I am living one day at a time, ....  I am trying to spend as much time in nature as possible, because I realized , that is what makes my mind calm, relaxed . I am not overthinking , I am not obsessing, I am not sad, I am not anxious when I am near natural mother nature...   I have been making conscious choices that would benefit my well being, and I am happy universe has been co-operative....

Same time... I do miss going dancing... Loud music is therapeutic as well.. Dancing it all out... Being one with the rhythm... I just wish I had that perfect partner to go out to LET IT OUT!!! SO sometimes late at night, I put on my high heels, my fave dress  .. find my Beats, and let my music take over  every sense that is alert and active..... I dance it out...   And I fall asleep smile on my face :)

I do what works for me...    You do too....   Getting to know who I am has been pretty damn amazing journey....  And it is not over....   I will always be a hot mess...   But I want to be hotter mess :D   I want to be more selfless.. more free, more caring, more appreciative, more confident, more loving, more accepting, more trusting... And last but not least-- More ME....

xo..  just my 5 cents for tonight....... I want to be more fabulous.......

oh.... if you wish to see my Instagram feed.. my ID is  dontmesswithdiana

Hurt and hurting.... ( My take in pain very narrow spectrum)

Pain is strange. It can be mental/psychological, physical, or just Pain  even though there is no reason for it( again... self created)...  Which means, we create pain for ourselves due to multiple different reasons... Some can't deal with relationship, some are needy in relationship, some are just needy.... But worst kind of pain comes from past losses.. even though one has dealt with past issues, time to time they will resurface and one ( like myself) has to deal with it again...   And sometimes it is absolutely fine to be in pain. It reminds us over and over and over again, that we are alive .  But one thing one has to learn , is how to deal with it, and not to let it get a way of living your life..

I am going to touch subject about guys again..  I wish I could call it topic about MEN, but apparently I keep meeting "wrong" men... Or broken men- as I would like to call them. I used to blame it on EGO, but I  gave up....

I Really , Really, really do know what I want in "OUR" relationship  ( whoever you are out there  meant for me).

*Honesty- DOn't wait me to ask questions... volunteer tell me your story-- please.. it's an order
*trust- trust me when I tell you something... I will never prove my point.....  It's not worth it...
*Respect- respect my point of view , and don't question it....
*Compassion- Be kind, be compassionate... It will make you feel good....
*Empathy- it's not all about you.. we all have different experiences in life... Be aware...
*Humor- Laughter makes a world go around....  Humor makes everything better
*Sarcasm.--- That's  my second language
*Open Mindedness-  I am world citizen....  I have been to places, I have seen things, I have experienced things, and so on....  "I" in this sounds like EGO speaking... but I here is also is ME...  I will never be the person I was few days ago, because I am constantly evolving till I am aware of me :)  

SO.. THERE YOU GO...  NEVER be in pain again.  Live the life the way it works for you... And if someone tells you,  you are unhappy or wrong.. It means you are in different level from them... OR their ego is stuck somewhere... But don't get   mean....

Life the life that is assigned for you...


Recognize the pain you once were in, and never allow it to come to your life again....

move on...


Lots of love ..

DST