All of you who are moms, or , amazing friends, or even amazing open minded humans, know what intuition is!!! You know something is wrong with someone close to you in your life, or with someone you vibe well with... it is just that feeling...
I woke up today feeling sick. I was sweating my heart was racing, and I could not even concentrate . I would sit on a sofa and shake... ( not because of alcohol--- I cut my drinking down to weekends these days)... I could see my heart wanting to jump out of my chest, and that made kind scared.... And my mind went straight to Gabriel- my son , who lives in china... He is 16 years old ... and i miss him way to much... Few minutes after that, I got a message from Gabriel, asking me to contact Hangzhou international school, because he is really sick.... I almost lost my mind.. I was like, where is you father? And Gabe said- he is never here..... My heart just stopped for few seconds....
I got all these emotions in me, and I could not let them out.. All I could do was to just smile, and tell him everything will be alright, and he will be fine... and drink and sleep, and drink more water or gatorade... Just relax and don't worry about anything......
So, after I was done chatting with him... Calmness kind of came back to me, but now I am just angry.. Angry at myself for many reasons... and for a split second.. I wanted to let myself go again... Eat uncontrollably, drink bottle of wine, and send tons of angry messages to G's father... But I composed myself... And told myself.. this is it.. Never again, will I let this man to get under my skin... Because if i do, I might end up in jail , somewhere in China......
Just hoping that my awesome rockstar son gets better soon
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