Random dating thoughts.

When I am overly excited and engage a lot in conversations, and send cute messages to guys-- I get a feedback I am to clingy and needy.

When I don't  engage to much,  just nod  my head and stay  just "cool".. I have been called cold and lacking of emotion.

When I am myself, laughing, smiling, happy,  expressing my feelings, talking about my passions... I get told.- YOU ARE PERFECT CATCH, WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?.

And there I am , Fucking single, staring a guy straight into eyes and tell him-- I am FUCKING PICKY....   I know what I want...

For fucks sake-- it is 21st century.. 2018. What does a woman has to do to actually pin down a man? Because this woman here for sure is not willing to settle for some half ass fake , dating 10 girls at a time kind of "boy".   We ether date or we do not. I do not have time for between. 

Why is it a sin to have High standards?  Or being 39 and been told by 50 year old  man-- oh, you are old already...  Why you even think you are worth love?    Seriously? How sad your life has to be to stoop to that kind of level , to belittle woman?

 Blows my mind....

This year, new vibes, new passions, new everything...

Dayum....

Lets just say. I have not done  "real" writing for a while.  I did some emotion driven writing based on whatever emotions I had in me , that were looking for a way out.   time to time we need all  need some sort of  layout .  Vent, bitch and moan... Some  of us turn to friends, some of us  turn to therapy, and some of us turn to sex.  And myself I have turned to myself last year and whatever I missed in my life is  finally manifesting right at this moment.

Everything starting since  from November 2017 to this point at 2018 has been  for some reason miraculously amazing to me.   Beginning every week I though, something will happen that will dim my success... But it never happened... 8 weeks fast forward to now... It just keeps getting better... Every word I have ever put out there to universe about what I wish and need and want and desire , is happening right at this point... I wake up every morning smiling again. I look forward to my days instead of threading them... I pray again. I smile again.

This January has been blessing in every way . And it is not over yet. And most important part of it all is... I AM NOT AFRAID OF GETTING LIFES BLESSINGS ANYMORE. We all get a break at one point in our lives. And mine is finally here.... I think I have done something right .... :)

xo