Second huge change is... Lot of you know , that I started working out with personal trainer.. But she is doing more for me than just helping me get in shape. She is like my mental organizer. When I walked through gym doors, I was complete mess. I worked out every day sometimes 2 hours at a time.. I ate healthy, I did not cheat with my meals, I drank no more than 2 glasses of wine per night, but once in a while did have saturday nigh binge drinking with friends...
When I signed up with my gym, I was assigned personal trainer. I did not know who she was, I did not know If i'd like her, and I did not even actually think I will sign up for personal training sessions.... It was just too expensive for me, and I though I have to give up a lot to afford her....
From the first moment on when I met her, I liked her energy. I can't explain it. She moved me. Her whole presence moved me... After she weighed me and measured me, she asked me to tell her my story. j I usually don't start crying right away, because I am so used to telling my story, but at that moment when she asked for it, something in me cracked, and I broke down and I told her short version of my story.. Tears just kept flowing, and I knew She was placed into my life for a reason. WHile I was telling her my story, I had made up my mind to hire her as my personal trainer for 16 sessions..
We have had 4 sessions.. When I first started I was soo closed down emotionally, physically. My body was holding into every ounce of food I ate... It did not matter what I did, it just ketp piling up... She opened something in me, and after 2 sessions with her , I started feeling like newer better version of me.
It was the things she said, routed me back to tracks I was supposed to be on. But life choices, relationships , toxic friendships, people I allowed to walk all over me and my own mind- just threw me off rails for a while....
I still get teary eyed in beginning of every workout, but I channel those tears into fixing myself, and getting my healthy mindset back. To much shit has happened in my life and I have to somehow forgive myself, for allowing that to happen...
At least I am on a right track :)
I believe Kim is - what everyone needs in their life... That voice that whispers you-- it's all in you.. Dig deeper... You got this... ..
Also, I had another huge Ahaaa... moment .. But I will write about more, when I am 200% sure it really was AHAAAAAAAA moment.....
BTW... All of you who are reading this.. I am just looking for support :D I have all the answers, and I just need little UMphhhhhh once in a while to push me another level......
love...xoxo