Independence...

Independence as it is.. OR maybe I am  tiny bit of an major a hole...  I don t know..

One thing for sue.. I will  not allow anyone disrespect me  in any form...  anymore....  It may take me few  takes this time and age, but not years .. not like before...

 One strike is enough... after initial gut feeling kicks in...

Problem is gut feeling is not enough... Well, it is enough to one to walk away, but physical proof is what makes your gut feeling solid...  But do I really need to prove the other half these days, he  cheated..... or he did something wrong?

 Walking away will be enough....  But nice person in me will always  seek what I should not be seeking...


PEACE.....

Peace in me is amazing....   Now I  finally reached that point... peace in you, is your business....


Namaste... or  fucawaysta....
...

Happy Year of the ROoster....

 How many more celebrations and how many new years will be there this year?  Asian, middle eastern, western,  and so on... I am done.... I am not complaining,  I'm just stating the fact... I Celebrate whatever what works for me...  Only 2 important dates  I will be celebrating is -my birthday and our Lord and savior's birthday. So there ya go... Just saying....

But on a serious note...  I create drama... For myself...  I suck at love......
 drama that is unnecessary.  I am in love, and  I love, and I care and I worry...--- And all that is catered towards one person.  

But how one meets one in the middle when both sides have had lives that have molded them the way they are...

How to compromise ?

...

Good days bad days, and other days....

meaning .. Boring DAYS...  Long walk 11.000 steps.
Cleaning
Cooking
 and that is about it... Feeling like total bum today..... don't feel like doing anything whatsoever... yaiks....

I need couple of hobbies..
ALso.. Amazon is driving me crazy....  One item I ordered came defected... I contacted them, and I  got response back from them, we conversed,  i sent pics of product and packaging and shit...AND suddenly they stopped talking to me... I am pissed... so pissed... Drives me crazy when they promised to refund it, but there is no course of action from their behalf...

But breathing in and out and in again ..

 Fuck this shit I say... also... got a horrible feeling...  I get those once in a while...   And I have had it couple of days... My intuition is always right  ... Just time will tell whats up... Just hate those yucky feeling in me...

Though of the day...

One of my friends posted quote today, "I you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time."

Well, to answer  to this...  Most of us will never be able to do 100% what we love... So far... I have pretty damn amazing sex life with someone I love ... So, I am not wasting my time...   And working towards, getting the jobs I love... All will happen when time is right.....


SO.. I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing and loving it.... ;)


#peace

Interesting.... just interesting....

Relationships..   I don't even know from where to start.   I have whole bunch of friends who are in relationships, and even though everything seems to be fine and guy is great, there is still some things that keep popping up. Like for instance.... Guy brings flowers, takes you out for a lunch--- but , BUT, BUT, he keeps liking half naked girls on instagram..   OR guy keeps pointing out every hot female in public, but does not have any social media sites...  BUT in general- guy is great, nice, friendly,  attentive... SO...    BUT AGAIn, points out every hot female who walks past him...

IMO, I don't mind it. Myself I do the same, if super hot dude, that smells good walks past me, I LOOK.. I even took a second look.. NOT because I want him, but  because beautiful people are beautiful to look at and I once read, that   staring at beautiful things can  add years to your life.

Now fast forward to  my world.....

I am very shy outgoing person... I don't know if these 2 even can be used in same sentence but that is how i feel about myself.    I am shy at first, but when I get to know you , i leave my shyness behind and I will give you my all. That is how I operate....  So this amazing guy that I have in my life right now...  He is in so many way similar to me.  quiet, but same time the best conversationalist I have had for a long time.  I could talk to him about anything and he always says the right thing.  Just amazing... But same time. there are some things that make me go .. interesting.... God has very funny sense of humor.. TOOO FUNNY....

 I prayed for a great guy for me, and I truly did get  amazing person... But here are some buts...

lets start BUT number one..
*I love wine-  HE does not drink any alcohol
*I love going out   once in a while- HE prefers indoors (  I have good girlfriends to tag along if want to go out, no biggy)
* I am foody, and love experimenting with foods and different flavors- HIS taste is pretty "vanilla", very simple.. There is nothing wrong with that, I just can't take him to  restaurants that serve adventurous food, and I have to be careful myself what to cook.... lol  thats a tough task
* I love to cuddle all the time- He is more independent in that sense... ( but I get my cuddles when needed ;)
*  I love to listen loud music all through out the day- NOW I am toning down, because I actually have to respect our space ....( yes, I am no longer single)
*  I LOVE to hold hands in public and public affection in general- BUT he is again little more SHY when it comes to it...

There are few more little things here and there, but in general.. I AM SO HAPPY..
Why I think that life has funny sense or humor is because... HE is the man I need in my life 100%.. Fuck it... even 200%... He is everything that  Is lacking in my life right now... He mellows me out and calms my spirit, and wants me to be so much better person than I was before I met him..  I was good person to start with, but because of him, i want to be even better .. .Is that even possible... I really don't know... It is surreal how things can change overnight...  He is amazing.

Of course there are little things I have to get used to about him, but we all have our little issues other person has to deal with.. I can do it.   He is soooo right in so many levels...  He does not even have to say anything and I already understand him.. But I still bug him with annoying questions all the time:)... ( yeah, we woman can be super annoying)

He locked me down..... damn... He is insanely smart , and charming, and handsome and sexy... And so charismatic... everybody who meets him, fall in love with him. Well, that could be a bad thing... lol

SO anyways..   I know I am in good hands... I just have to get over few issues and  We will be just fine.  I LOVE my smart MAN....

So..  Time will tell. What I wrote about is not it... Challenges  that matter the most are around the corner, and  I am trying to figure out if I will be part of those, or I will be pushed aside..... will see.... xo

Happy New Year!!!!!

HAPPY, HAPPY NEW YEAR

I had pretty damn good  Night . Spent it with Friends who matter .  TO bad , all my besties are all over this world and we could not be under the same roof.  But wherever you are my Dear friends... You are always on my mind...   you are always on my mind... Also wish my hot and smart boyfriend was with me celebrating, but he had made plans long time  before we became an item. Which is ok.   Will get to see him very soon... YEYYY. I am not single anymore..   And I haven't been for a while.... SO in love and happy. :)


 I really did not make any resolutions for this year.  Just want to live healthier lifestyle, so cutting out alcohol a loooot... A LOOOOOOTTTTTT. And in general want to take better care of myself.   Somehow it just clicked, that I need to love myself much more than I did before. And after I felt that way, and click happened,   I just became happier myself.   Makes sense.  And right then happy person walked into my life and claimed me....    Its a miracle.....

In general I live in some sort of colorful dream, where color PURPLE dominates...   I feel calmness when I surround myself with purple, and wherever I go I get so many smiles and comments out of people about my general presence... I could be walking on street and someone just stops and starts chatting with me . I love new and improved happy me :D


 I am feeling that couple of my dreams are coming true this year... ANd I will do anything to give it a little push to start with that .... xo